My Sacrifice Repost
by Yo's Subordinate
Summary: YusukexHiei. Oneshot. Character death. Read at your own discretion for all sorts of reasons. "I gaze into the terror plaguing his ruby fire eyes, and I know he's scared of losing me."


One-shot Title: My Sacrifice  
Type: fanfiction, one-shot  
Pairing: Hiei/Urameshi Yusuke  
Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho  
LJ community writing themes: sacred-20, table 4, #15 Fate (Hiei/Yusuke); 7-deadly-sins-, #3 wrath (Hiei/Yusuke); 7-virtues, #7 diligence (Hiei/Yusuke); 30-caresses, #5 calm before the storm (Hiei/Yusuke)  
Word count: About 3,600 words  
Rating: I'm going to say **T** barely on the edge of **M**.  
Warning(s): shounen ai, tragedy, angst, AU-ish  
Summary: _I gaze into the terror plaguing his ruby fire eyes, and I know he's scared of losing me._  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho anymore than I own the White House, but Yoshihiro Togashi-sama CAN claim such an honorable right because he IS the one responsible for creating the greatest anime in existence.  
Claimer: The poem _My Sacrifice_ is mine, so if you steal it, I'll have to hunt you down and scalp you with my spork...  
Dedication: written for siehn (she went by a different name before) a long time ago...I'm ashamed this is something better written, but still I wrote it for her.

4/10/12 Notes: Yeah, yeah this is a crappy piece of writing, but I wrote it so long ago. I tried to doctor it up a little. I just, honestly, don't really know how to fix this thing… -sigh- …It seemed important to repost it… Also the poem kinda makes it like a song fic, but that's the thing I wrote the poem and it definitely isn't a song...I'm so freakin' sorry for the crappiness. I can't apologize enough. It's taken me sooooo long to put this back up. -sigh-

* * *

**My Sacrifice**  
by Yo, Written in May 2005

Reposted/Very _lightly_ edited again on 4.10.12

* * *

_Fate decrees your death this night  
By the very hands that have held you tight_

I've just returned from Koenma's office in the Reikai, and he has ordered something in all my centuries as Spirit Detective I thought I would never be forced to carry out. The emperor of the Underworld has placed in my very hands the fate of one who I hold the closest to my heart.

"DAMN YOU, KOENMA!" I scream my outrage and my despair. How the hell can he ask me to kill Hiei? "DAMN YOUR ROYAL ASS TO HELL!" I thunder to the vast, crimson night sky of Makai above me knowing fully well Koenma can hear me, and then to prove my point, I slam my fist with every ounce of my power into the ground. A giant crater forms beneath my fist…a crater I wish looked like Koenma's face right now!

In my anger and sorrow, I fall to my knees endeavoring with all that I am to hold my tears at bay, and I can't help but to deliver another blow to the helpless ground.

"Damn you! I know you lie! I know with all my heart that you are lying, Koenma! I KNOW YOU TELL ME NOTHING BUT LIES!" I know Hiei wouldn't break a promise to me! I know he wouldn't kill humans because Hiei keeps his word! How can Koenma falsely accuse the fire demon of setting an entire Ningenkai city ablaze and killing 100,000 humans! There were other demons out there that could have done the same thing!

I haven't realized until now that the intensity of my emotions caused my demon form to emerge…and that definitely isn't a good thing.

I stand to my feet enjoying the feel of my silver mane fall down my back and ending just below my knees. I note that my black muscle shirt had been incinerated into nothingness, and my jeans had holes in them. I also loved the warmth of the ground against my bare feet… the warmth of my incredible power…the warmth of my rage. My head is bowed as I decide whether or not to murder my boss and betray both Reikai and Ningenkai… or to follow through with my job… and take the life of the one I've held so tenderly in my arms... the one I love more than life itself.

Keiko may have been my wife many centuries ago, and I indeed loved her while I had her; however, with the pain of her death, I gained the greatest gift… Hiei's love and trust.

How can Koenma ask me to bleed away the life force of the one who I have come to live for? But is that love worth betrayal and destruction of the legacy I've rightfully claimed? Yes, it is, but I won't kill Koenma. I'll fight this fight, but I guarantee it will be my last.

_Tears of sorrow staining my cheeks  
My heart so full of overwhelming emotions  
My body feeling so tired and weak  
As I want so badly to throw myself to the ocean _

_Why now must your life be taken  
When I alone know of your innocence?  
Why now would you be forsaken  
When you gave up long ago your need for vengeance?_

I can't hold back the tears any longer, for my heart breaks with the sorrow and anger of the ocean's tides during a dangerous storm.

My emotions are like that storm, and with all my power…such a storm comes to life in my territory of the Makai, for I am truly standing upon a high, jagged cliff overlooking the bloody ocean I have named "Hell's Fiery Crimson Tide."

Lighting strikes down from the heavens in many places at once, and the wind violently picks up trying to dance ferociously with my hair. My eyes glow an eerie shade of a luminescent yellow…like they have a life of their own… a blazing fire of passion seems to brighten them all the more. My body is so rigid with tension… my mind like the calamity of the oncoming storm. The tides at the moment are true to the name I have given this ocean, and I want nothing more than to throw myself to the sea…spill my blood into the endless pit of mortal, crimson liquid.

"Don't you dare, baka." Oh, kami, that beautiful, deep, baritone voice like music to these sensitive ears can be no other than my fire demon. My heart suddenly beats out of control, and a thousand butterflies caress the delicate walls of my stomach. I feel my face flush with tremendous heat, and I cannot bring myself to turn around.

For one, I should have known he would sense my energy so out of whack. Second, he knows there's trouble when I transform. Third, he always knows what goes on with me because I am his mate as he his mine. Gah! I should have known he'd come from his own territory to find me, and there's no way I could do something so stupid when he is behind me watching my every move. And I'm so scared right now, and that in itself is a feat for the great descendent of Raizen, Yusuke Urameshi! But nonetheless, my passion and love for him can rise to life just by hearing him speak.

"Hn." I respond with his trademark answer to just about everything, and suddenly, the storm dies down to an unnatural calm.

My body is now weak from the sheer intensity of my emotions, and I'm exhausted to the bone. I feel myself fall, but strong, warm arms grab me before I hit the ground.

"Hiei…" I give him the saddest smile. He cocks his head cutely to the side in confusion. That right there tells me of his innocence. How can Koenma blame him so wrongly?

I bring my hand up to caress the softness of his cheek as he holds me so lovingly in his arms, and I see a gentleness in the features of his face…something that had once been so harsh and stoic like the cold marble of stone. How can Koenma ask me to forsake and betray the love of my life? How can he say Hiei is a blood thirsty demon? Hiei gave up such practices long ago, for he kills only when the need arises…and that need is so very rare nowadays. My flying shadow no longer has a need to fulfill such vengeance. How can Koenma make up such stories?

"Nani?" I can hear the confusion in his voice.

"Ai shi teru…" I'm too tired to explain anything, and with that confession I've expressed to Hiei on more than one occasion, I pass out welcoming the warmth of my mate's arms and the peace of the darkness. I vaguely realize that I've changed back to my human form.

_You the gods have wrongly cursed  
So tragically since your very birth_

The sensation of falling in the dream realm is probably one of the only things I'll ever admit that I find horrifying, but what's worse is falling with your koibito right in front of you as you try desperately to grasp his hand when that hand seems so close yet you're never able to reach it. That's what is currently happening right now, and the look of pure terror on Hiei's face shatters my heart into millions of tiny shards that seem to make my heart bleed with such intense pain.

I've found that Hiei and I can enter each other's dreams, or nightmares in this case, at great ease because we share such a strong mental link. I've also learned many things from his past, he vice versa with my memories. Some of his recollections make my own painful ones pale in comparison. My dark prince has endured such a long, dark, tragic existence since his birth…and this fear of falling in this nightmare has everything to do with him being thrown from the koorimie isle when he was just mere infant. If any of the cold hearted bitches were still alive, besides sweet Yukina, I would have destroyed them all in a single blast of my rei gun, and they would have never seen it coming.

I finally seem to find enough strength to grab a hold of his small, trembling hand and pull his shivering body to my own.

"It's okay, Hiei…I won't let you fall…I promised, love…I promised…" I whisper into Hiei's ear feeling him nod against my chest…instantly calming down against my warmth. I've always told him that, and I've kept my promise ever since then. I hate how the gods have cursed my fire demon…how they've made him suffer so much…just to appease their own wicked sense of humor…just as Koenma is trying to do with him now.

I notice that the falling has stopped, and we are waiting in nothing but darkness. Hiei seems to hold me tighter, and I cannot stop the protective instinct to guard my mate with my life as it overwhelms my senses. I embrace him more tightly…just waiting for something to attack us.

_So many times I've seen such deep pain  
In the depths of your beautiful, crimson eyes  
I can almost hear your inner shame  
Screaming a self-loathing, silent cry _

_Rage blazes in me like the fiery pits of hell  
Because you were taught you could never be loved  
You built a wall closing your heart in this jail  
Until I came along with a push and a shove_

Nothing attacks us, but we are thrown into a rather saddening memory from when we were fairly new mates.

The dream is my memory when Hiei brought me to the place of his mother's burial in the cold, Glacier Mountains of the Koorimie Isle.

Snow falls crimson at the place of Hina's tomb, and the wind whispers softly of the horrors that happened there…singing of the innocent blood that was slain…moaning of how the earth choked upon that precious blood as it seeped slowly into the ground.

There is a large boulder with an inscription written in a language I can't read, but I remember that Hiei said it read: The gods curse this unholy place of unrest…for the spirit of sin haunts these grounds…so beware…unless ye wish to be ensnared within her deadly trap. Such a "lovely" commemoration the koorimie decided to give Hina, right?

Hiei lets me go stepping forward some as if to study the remnants of this memory, but then he turns back to me with a questioning look in his beautiful, ruby fire eyes that seem to light up my world like the passionate flame that he is…and then I see that same sadness I saw in them so long ago…a time when his heart was so closed off to the world …and only I had been able to knock down his wall with all my poking and prodding… pushing and shoving. I had found a way into his heart…as he had to mine.

"Hiei, are you alright?" I inquire as I embrace him yet again. The touch seems to comfort us both, even if we are only in a dream state. No matter where I am, I always need to touch the fire demon, just as he always needs to touch me…maybe being away from one another so often strengthened our metaphysical bond or something.

"Hai." Hiei breathes in a deep breath as he looks up at me with his head against my bare chest and his arms wrapped loosely around my waist. "Why are you dreaming this?"

"This was the first place I told you I loved you." I reply with a slight, nostalgic smile. "Do you remember how angry I got at you because you just didn't seem to believe anyone was capable of loving you?"

Hiei just nods, a rosy blush painting his cheeks…at where my anger led us to that day…and I can't help but to blush right along with him, a nervous chuckle escaping my throat. How we both could be so shy about just the mention of making love after this long of tolerating each other is one of the greatest mysteries of the universe.

"Maybe this is a reminder that although you may lose someone dear to your heart, the love and the memories that that person gave you, no matter the length of time you knew him or her, will be enough to sustain you so that you can go on. Your mother loved you and Yukina so much, even if she never got to say it." I point to the necklace that holds the clear, tear gem his mother cried for him before her death. "Hina wanted you and Yukina to be strong without her guidance, so she cried every ounce of her own strength to create those gems with all her love."

Hiei smiles softly bringing up his hand to caress the opaque tear gem on a silver chain around my neck.

I know Hiei's not one for many words, so I know this action means he saying that he loves me.

With a smile of my own, I feel reality beckoning us both to wake from this peaceful realm. I won't know until a little later that my words had a double meaning.

_We shall take our very last stance  
But who will win this bloody dance?_

I awaken in Hiei's arms, and I can feel his intense gaze upon me. It takes me a moment to notice that we are very high in a tree, and that it is still night. This confuses me until I remember that the Makai switches back and forth between day and night every 72 hours. I figure it's probably the mid second day of night, but I don't ask Hiei because I really don't care.

What I have on my mind has nothing to do with something so trivial.

"What's happened, Yusuke?" Hiei asks probably sensing the disturbance in my aura. He could just read my mind, but he's respectful of my privacy.

"Follow me." I stand up from his grasp and jump to the ground fifty feet below me. I automatically transform into my demon form. I turn to see Hiei giving me a worried glance, and I can do no other that sigh at the news I must reveal to the fire youkai. "Change into your majin form, and please do not ask why."

"Hn." Taking of his bandanna to uncover his jagan, Hiei strangely complies with my demand and turns into the form where he's green and covered with eyeballs.

I get an image of when I first met him in the warehouse on my first case to recover the three artifacts of darkness for Koenma. I smirk at the thought because even then, I oddly thought he looked sexy in his majin form…well Hiei looks sexy in any form. I suddenly feel my face flush, and I see Hiei grinning with one of his fangs sticking out of his mouth.

I had to look away then because he knows where my thoughts could head...

"Well, detective?" Hiei's voice is deeper and a lot rougher in this form… which only makes me want him all the more. I better stop this train of thought, so I can tell him what needs to be said.

"I haven't seen you in awhile Hiei because we both are busy with work. I need you to tell me whether or not you were in the Ningenkai three days ago, and please don't get angry and demand to know why. Just please answer, and all will be explained." I still won't look at my love.

Hiei looks at me for a long moment as if he is trying to figure something important out before I hear him sigh deeply.

"No, Yusuke, I was not. I would have had to let Spirit World know if I planned to make a presence in the Ningenkai. Why ask me something you already know? And please do explain these strange actions you've had since yesterday." Hiei sounds a bit impatient with me, but he won't be just impatient when he learns of Koenma's false accusations. I still refuse to make eye contact, even though I'm overjoyed that I am right about Hiei's innocence.

"I know you'd never break your word to me, but according to Koenma, you have set a Ningenkai city ablaze with your fire powers taking the lives of 100,000 humans. He…he has sent…m-me…to ex-execute…y-you…and…th-that…was…t-the…re-reason…I-I…g-got…s-so up-upset…I-I…" I don't want to cry, but tears come anyway. Hiei steps closer to me, probably coming to comfort me, but I send an aura shield up around my body so he won't touch me. "Don't Hiei! Don't touch me right now! We h-have t-to f-fight! A-and one o-of us…will...d-d-die…"

I am facing him now in my battle stance, and he gives me a look of such deep sadness and betrayal that I have to force my face to stay on his.

"Baka…" I hear him whisper ever so carefully and quietly. "My baka…" Hiei whispers softer this time bowing his head slightly and readying himself for the bloody battle ahead of us both. Tears pour silently from my honey gold eyes. Black tears gems fall to the ground from Hiei's eyes… eyes that hardly ever shed a tear…eyes that I love so deeply…this battle will probably kill me. "As you wish, koibito."

"Let's make this quick using our strongest attack at the same time." I wipe my eyes trying my damnedest to ignore that Hiei just called me his love.

Nodding once, Hiei gazes at me…and my heart breaks completely…

_You and I both know this must take place  
We know one of us will be dead by this fight's end  
The victor has an agonizing loss he must face  
And surely he will take great measures to make amends _

_Will I get at least one more kiss from you?  
Will I feel your passionate fire one last time?  
Will you hold me in your arms once more, too?  
Will you, no matter what happens, always be mine?_

No words are said as we stare at one another while Hiei unwraps the binding on his right arm slowly revealing the black dragon tattoo, and I power up the ring on my right index finger.

The next few moments are almost but a blur to me.

"JAOU ENSATSU KOKU RYU HA!" "REIGEKI RING!"

We both yell our attacks at the same time, but unbeknownst to the fire demon; I aim my blast toward the dark, starless heavens causing the ground to tremble with its magnitude.

I have only a mere second to send Hiei the most heartbroken of smiles before his dragon slams head on into me. I turn back into my human form, and the force of that first hit breaks every bone in my body. I know within a matter of seconds I'll be gone...

But...Hiei struggles to call off the dragon and strangely…succeeds.

I fall helplessly from some place high up, and I land in warm, strong, familiar arms for the second time in the last two days. I close my eyes with a peaceful smile on my face allowing death to slowly steal away the life force from my tattered body.

"OPEN YOUR EYES, BAKA! HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME! HOW DARE YOU DECIDE TO KILL YOURSELF FROM THE START! HOW DARE YOU!" The agony in my love's voice causes me to open my eyes…which feels like lifting bricks with my eyelids at the moment.

Hiei lands us in the same tree we woke up in not too long ago, and he is clutching me to him with a deathlike grip.

I gaze into the terror plaguing his ruby fire eyes, and I know he's scared of losing me.

"Hi…chan…" I cough up blood as I weakly raise my hand so painstakingly slow to touch his cheek one last time. "Go…men…ko…i…"

Hiei captures my hand kissing my palm so softly.

"My…dark…prince…of…fi…er…y…ice…mine…it…su…mo…live…on…with… your pas…sion...and…be…strong…like…you…did…for…your…kaa..san…live…in… the… name…of… my…love…and…my…sac…ri…fice…" I gasp for one more breath only to have Hiei's lips descend upon my own.

With all his fire, his darkness, his despair, his strength, and his love, he gives me one hell of an earth shattering, powerful kiss that I will take with me into the after life.

_Know I love you so much, my dark prince of fiery ice  
For I ask you to live on in the name of my sacrifice_

* * *

Owari (thank gooooddsss)


End file.
